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Saturday, July 26, 2014

Attack Life Before a Toilet Attacks You!

Life is a jerk. She, because only a woman could be as creative and unforgiving to make life altering incidents have life lasting effects. Incidents usually ending in counseling. The only way to describe a seemingly similar event as life, can be described with what your Mom put you through as a child, Because she swore "it wasn't her fault for breaking the wooden spoon on your butt." Anyways...

Usually life alters our reality by aggressively falling on the shoulders of us unsuspecting, innocent, and lively children. We call it growing up and taking responsibility.

It should be described the same way that General Akbar from Star Wars describes everything, "ITS A TRAP!"


As a child you frolic and play without a care in the world. The next minute your field of flowers flows at a different pace. It quickens and widens, pulling you faster and faster downstream. Daisies and lilacs turn into cactus and dirt, all horrifically coming together into what is so oddly, and regrettably sought after...adulthood.

And well, adulthood is death to all fun. Just kidding! 


There are tons of perks of growing up, I could name like 100 of the top of my head, like....um...well...PAYING TAXES! or RENTING A CAR! See its worth becoming an adult.




In all seriousness growing up is a good thing, no awkward middle school dances, no embarrassing high-school yearbook pictures, your brain comes back from its teenage-vacation and plugs itself back in!

Now life, life and I have quite the relationship. We have been together for a little over 21 years, and She has never asked me to grow up, probably because I'd cry too much. Although I have never felt the door kick open and watch Life start packing my childhood toys away, I have sought answers to a few "grown-up" questions such as the meaning to life.

I am not the only one. Everyone seems to be searching. What buys happiness? What does life have in store? What do I do with my life? What have I done with my life? Where is my life going? What happens after this life? What happened before this life? Why is life so dagum hard? Endless where, what, why, and how questions can be asked revolving around our friend Life.

Sometimes She can be completely misunderstood. That is why I am grateful that I have a God who can guide me if I turn to him. He shows me the path and helps me to walk it. We sometimes feel the path is too hard and those are the moments we dub as "life gets in the way." I feel its just all part of the plan.

I believe, and have felt, it is because God loves us that he allows Life to interfere. He allows life to get in the way, But, without these despised and sometimes ridiculously irrational interruptions, how else would we learn? In retrospect, we learn life isnt in the way, it is the way! 

A poem by Christopher Poindexter


It is suppose to hurt,
My child.
That is why there is water
In your eyes And
blood in your veins.

If we knew no pain,
We wouldn't have know truth,
And truth, my child,
Is the soul
Of the universe.

We learn truth, by the things that are in the way in our life. We learn truth from the elephants and the mouse size trials we encounter.

As a missionary we are assigned a companion to be with us 24/7. I am lucky enough to have a companion who is great! We sometimes get along too well...

So, my mother loves embarrassing her children. I believe I heard tons of Moms laugh and say "thats a good mom." Don't be so anxious to praise Her, but yea she is a good one, my...favorite you could say. My companion just so happened to capture an embarrassing video of me dancing. I could not let that video be sent, the awkward reinforcements my mother would have thrown in on Her constant assault could have stopped the world from spinning! She could essentially terminate any chances of people thinking I'm NOT a goob! 

See dancing awkwardly and being a goof on video isn't embarrassing, not until your mother gets ahold of it that is.

 Back to the good stuff, the awkward video my companion captured. The wrestle for control of my companion's mission iPad crashed in. Little did we know that that wouldn't be the only thing crashing. 

During our struggle an unsuspecting porcelain hero started ooching his way in our direction, or we probably just teleported next to it. (We both have no recollection of ending up in the bathroom)

The white vitrified translucent ceramic hero announced his arrival, and aid in my cause, by placing its rim surreptitiously under my companions face. My companion then graciously bashed his head onto the rim splitting open his forehead! 

 Never had the bathroom smelled so victorious then it did at that moment! (Pause for a dramatic victorious moment) I then proceeded to successfully delete the video and keep myself from falling into hysterics at the sight of my bleeding toilet bashed companion. We of course bandaged him, and he is healthfully healing.

What did life throw at him? A huge lemon lump on his forehead! What did we do with this life given lemon...we made it a hilarious story everywhere we went, instantly gaining the admiration of countless Arizona locals. That is the sweetest lemonade if i have ever drank some. Mouse of a trial? To some maybe an elephant, but we navigated the current of life by finding the good or a truth about our predicament. 

I suppose Life isn't necessarily a women. I know of no women who would punish, or make us learn truth by exploring a little bathroom humor. Hitting your head on the throne of thinking is a comedic taste one must acquire, but Most men are born with it.

As we saw, Life taught us a few truths: Wrestling in enclosed spaces can be harmful. Chicks dig scars. How to properly sew a wound with duct tape. If you peel off a scab, it'll bleed...a lot.  Needless to say, our night time adventure yielded plenty of opportunities to learn truth. We suffered from the learns bad that night! 

We are here to learn those truths. Whether it is smashing our noggin on the utility meant for placing hind-ends, or reading text books. We are on earth, living life to gain truth. To grow in knowledge. To get the learns.

God knew we would struggle. So he provided the best method of learning truth....google! No again I'm kidding! The best method to learn a truth is to go to the source of all truth, God himself! His search engine is called Prayer. Its a good thing to be addicted to. Try it, you won't ever not use it!

life is hard, but toilets are harder....just as life is hard, its is so much harder when you're dumb. So live, laugh, learn, love, and PRAY! It all cumulates to give you truth.

I dont always smash my companions head on the toilet, but when I do, we both learn truth.

Stay prayerful my friends.




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