Confessions of a Missionary, DONT TELL MY MOM!

If anyone has an inappropriate family its me. It would be a lie to say otherwise. when you get as all together, the filters fall down and the bathroom talk seeps forth. Not always, like 100% of the time, but it never fails, someone always cracks a poop joke. So, to avoid public shaming of the Kirwan name,we never gathering in more than fours. Sometimes 6, but that is pushing the natural laws of the decency established in our moral universe.

I have really, REALLY, done a great job at changing topics of conversation to wholesome and good things on my mission. Cracking clean jokes instead of the jokes you tell cracking you. I have found that you can laugh HARDER at the simple, clean, wholesome jokes, than you can at the ones that you have to spray with Clorox.


With this new knowledge that God blessed me with, He required me to then live up to my new found enlightenment, He deemed me accountable. Now knowing that it is better to be clean than dirty in my speech, God expects me to stop saying things that would merit a Dove bar of soap in the mouth.Which is an experience I will have to be in counseling a long time for, thanks Mom... Dove soap always show commercials that no residue will be left on your skin, but they never show if residue can linger on the tongue! It probably stunted my growth!!

Part of gaining knowledge, and for that matter answers to our prayers, is living up to our end of the deal. If we ask God questions, or SEEK enlightenment like "is the Book of Mormon true?" or "is Joseph Smith a prophet?" or even "who is struggling in life right now, that I may serve them?" He will answer if we have REAL INTENT. Real intent being a desire and want, promise to God, to do whatever He provides as our answer.

A lot of people wonder why "God never answered me!" well maybe its because he doesn't want you to have to be accountable, He knows your not "good for the money", he has the goods you want, but you cant provide him with the solidity of heart to follow His word. Is it because your some, inherently evil and abominable person, prone to kick a little child when given the chance? Heck NO! I feel it just means that you got to do a little better, show God your serious, show God you have real intent. "oh Elder Kirwan, how do I show God I have REAL REAL intent?" FAITH young Padawan!
You show real intent by doing things he asks or by having FAITH. Its like going to an employer and saying you want a raise without a solid track record. Your boss might even LOWER your pay because of your idiocy ahah. 

God has the same type deal with his children. You WANT more knowledge. You WANT answers to your prayers. "Well if you show your faith, and do what I have already commanded, ill see your real intent. then I will know that what you ask is a question of great importance to you." -God

One way God asks us to show our Faith and Real Intent, is to be Honest. Here comes the confessions of a missionary part. So I was reading an old post from my mothers blog, trying to gain inspiration and came across the most curious of posts, titled: What Did I Expect?!.

I have a Confession. In my Mom's post there has been a crime committed. My smallest brother was suctioned cupped to the head, it left a hickey. welllllll, when the Mother of this small, hickey headed boy came to me and asked..."did you do this?" I said, "NO...it was Joseph." (blaming my next youngest oldest brother, Recruit 4 as so titled) which apparently got me off scotch free, until I read her blog post, and felt bad for realizing that she still, to this day, believes it was my brother Joseph, who gave my smallest brother his first hickey.(go to What Did I expect?! link to see pictures, hilarious! Good thing the Hickey wasn't permanent!)

Now, will God condemn me for that wittle ittle bitty lie? probably not, BUT this I do know, all things start small. Honesty isn't only answering questions with truthfulness when asked. Honesty isn't some internal lie detector that we pretend to be attached to when our moms come to ask us if we did wrong. Its about living in a way that you DO the right thing at all times, and in all things, and in all places. We believe in BEING honest, and in that endeavor anything less than BEING is not an honest effort.

With honesty comes the knowledge from God that we all desire. If your honest with your friends, family, self, and The Big Man amongst the clouds. You WILL have your prayers answered. Honesty IS real intent, and honesty IS faith.  

So down with the the Dove bar of soap, and send up your prayers in all HONESTY!